Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
