i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
