Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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