we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
