drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
