She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
