i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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