508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
