if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just puked most of my soul out..
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