well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
