no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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