tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
