You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize