Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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