I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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