Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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