she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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