I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
