'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
