just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
