I swear god or herbie drove my car home
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
