if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
