we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
