he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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