Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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