i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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