U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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