I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
