First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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