Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
oh god the rape fog is back!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
