So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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