singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
