Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize