Screwed.edu
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize