We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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