Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize
