It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
