Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
