I accidentally burped into my bong.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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