I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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