yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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