did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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