see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize