Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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