I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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