Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
