I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we're making bets on your personal life
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
