i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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