Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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