He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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