So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
