Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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