Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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