yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
