you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
