i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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