Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
