A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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