he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
